Everyday Heroes - The Morrin Story
Caring for an Infant in the Foster System
Meet the Morrins: Kevin, Sue, Demi (18), Riley (11), and Josh (10). Father and husband, Kevin, works full time for Nordstrom corporate, and is completing his doctoral program in business management. Mom Sue works part time as a Foster Parent Recruiter/Liaison in addition to her full time job caring for her family.
This is their story.
Sue remembers getting the call from Child Services. A three-month old infant needed a home. She’d been removed from her mother’s care due to neglect. Her mom was going into treatment for drug and alcohol addiction.
Sue went to pick up the baby girl at the Child Welfare office, instantly loving the tiny child.
“I remember wondering both how someone could neglect their baby and how awful it would be to have a baby taken. Thus began my journey of loving this child as my own”. Yet, Sue and her family knew that it would be best if the mom got well and was able to raise her child herself.
Initially, the baby had great difficulty attaching to her new “mom”, had trouble sleeping, and cried often. This is a common problem for infants affected by neglect: they don’t feel safe and cared for. After several days of almost constant attention, love, and contact, the baby girl responded. She began sleeping through the night, cooing, smiling, and interacting with the family.
Meanwhile, her birth mother, Kristy*, was still in the treatment facility. She was actively participating in her recovery and seeing her baby daughter for weekly visits. After four months, the visits progressed, and Sue met Kristy for the first time.
“During the course of the meeting, I got to see the baby sit with her mom . . . and be okay without me . . . it was a bit awkward, (but) my heart went out to this young woman, who was really trying…”
Sue and Kristy continued to bond over their shared love for Kristy’s daughter. Kristy even attended church with the Morrins on Mother’s Day – her first Mothers Day. It was the first time the rest of the Morrin family met her.
Sue remembers her sons’ reactions: “The entire dynamic was very humbling and sweet. What a great opportunity and character building experience for them to see this woman transforming and to realize that life is not just about sports and their cozy little life. . .”
Kristy began attending church weekly with the Morrin family while still in treatment. This allowed her to spend more time with her daughter, and allowed Sue the chance to mentor Kristy as a new mother. “I was careful to let her be the mom and only gave her direction when she asked for it. Sometimes I would make suggestions . . . she was never once defensive or resentful”.
Six months after the Morrins opened their home to this little baby, she went home with her mother. “This was one of the hardest things I have ever done . . . it was so bittersweet,” Sue said.
Kristy and the baby are still actively involved in the Morrin family. Their transitional home is just five minutes away, so they see each other often, attending baseball games, “hanging out”, and still going to church together. Sue says Kristy and the baby will be going camping with them over the summer.
Not only do they do fun things together, but the mentoring continues. Sue and Kristy recently attended PESA training through the Casey Foundation (Parenting Education and Self-Advocacy), a training for birth parents, foster parents and social workers. Kevin and the boys baby-sat while they were gone.
Sue closed with this: “People have said to me, ‘Wow! This is a great thing you are doing…’ I really just feel like I am doing what comes natural to me . . . loving this baby and my new friend”.
*Name changed.
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